There are no words for what these past few weeks have been, except — a rollercoaster. It’s been a social upheaval rollercoaster filled with wins and losses. An emotional rollercoaster as I grieved the senseless and unjust deaths of Black women and men, meanwhile, I celebrated the beauty of my heritage—being African, Nigerian, Afro-American. A spiritual rollercoaster as I wrestled with God wondering if He was really there and if He cared that the world was filled with specific hatred and loathing toward OUR skin that HE created. I cried, laughed, danced, protested, wrote, argued, corrected, prayed, praised, and loved—myself, others, and God—despite the feral inclination to hate.
It’s by God’s grace that I able to maintain my sanity.
Here’s how God got me through:
- First things first: Psalm FIVE is where it’s at. I had been struggling to believe God cared about how Black people suffer in this world. Then the Holy Spirit led me to this and I CRIED as I read it. GOD SEES US AND HE IS SO GOOD!
- There were times where I just felt stuck, I didn’t know why I was stuck or how to get out. Music by this collective was a soothing balm for my troubled soul.
- I’m single and sometimes (see: 95% of the time) it can be so challenging to wait on God’s time and I can easily believe God has forgotten about me. This couple’s story encouraged me to believe otherwise.
- Do you ever wrestle with God, yourself and life BUT can’t put your finger on what’s bothering you? I had one of those moments and listening to this really helped me.
This month was tough but I really see how God is using the current circumstances to get my faith into formation.
What inspired you in June?