During this past summer I was having a conversation about apologetics with one of the leaders of my church and his wife. During this conversation of how to have a sensible debate with someone who did not believe that God existed the pastor casually said “Even if I died and learned that God did not exist, I’d still be happy with the way I lived my life.” Though he probably wouldn’t remember saying that if I brought it up to him, what he said stuck with me. I, in turn, asked myself “If I died and found out there was no God would I be content with the way I lived my life?” The question was like ingesting a pill when you had a sore throat, hard to swallow. Each time I asked myself the question I could not reach an answer that I was convinced was sincere and honest. I wanted to be like the leader and say “of course! God is my everything and has done much for me, I would be content.” In my heart I knew that was far from the truth. There were still some ideas that I was still wrestling with. Some thoughts came to mind such as “man, if God wasn’t real that means I wasted my whole life living in such a boring way.” I thought of all the parties, boys, and selfish ambition I could have indulged in. Those thoughts revealed a part of my heart that still clung onto the world. As the year has passed, and I noticed in myself what others saw as growing and change, I’ve finally reached an answer. It’s an answer that I find to be true and sincere while also keeping in mind that the part of my heart that struggles to be pure and sometimes envies people of the world for their care-free ungodly ways is still active but not at-large. My answer is “yes.” My reasoning stems from the amount of growth I have attained since accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Following Jesus and trying each day to be Christ-like has helped me to move mountains and overcome the craziest of storms. If I died and learned that God wasn’t real I would care either way. My belief in God has healed and is transforming my heart. What I have achieved in almost one year of following him I could not foresee myself achieving on my own in even twenty years. This leads me to my final point that God does in fact exist and we will meet him on the day he calls us, his followers, home. I cannot convince you or force you to conjure up these convictions, it is something you have to reach on your own. I reached my answer by examining my life and how God worked in it even before I came to know him. When I slandered his name and his works he loved me and continued to work in my life. I would be a fool to refer to the things God has done for me as “just luck” because I know that would be the understatement of the century. I guess you get to a point where you’re honest with yourself and you admit that it’s just God.
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV): For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.