(that’s me side-eying such words…though there may be something to it)
Those are two big components to having faith. You have to be willing to be feel like a fool yet still go back to God with even more zeal for his word. Last night I was over at a friend’s place drinking wine and waxing poetic on the darker themes of life such as loneliness, sadness, sorrow, and struggle. We shared what our personal struggles have been and currently are. As I shared with her my year and how many times I’ve broken down and just cried because I wondered “where is this all going?!” I realized that perhaps things were going somewhere. When I spoke out loud about my failures, breakdowns, and distress, I noticed how facing those things has changed my character over the course of one year. I still could not tell her exactly what God was doing in my life (I don’t even know) but in my mind I had a moment of clarity. A moment when I thought “hmm, perhaps we’re onto something?” (while stroking my proverbial beard). In all the challenges I’ve faced this year and all the times I have felt like such a fool for believing that God really had plans to prosper me like he says in Jeremiah 29:11, I honestly would not trade what I went through for anything. I have become such a better person in just a year and that is just to the glory of God. Even right now I am struggling with making future plans and I find myself drifting away from God a bit. Last night’s conversation was such a reminder that I need to stay hungry and have faith, even a little as a mustard seed, that God has it all in order for me because I am his child and he loves me.
I want to encourage you guys to continue to persevere because it really builds character.
Ezekiel 33:17-18 (NIV): And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”